“Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you’re ahead.” — Will Rogers
“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years we will have the smartest people on earth.” — Will Rogers
“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” — Will Rogers
Ambassador Bill (1931). With Marguerite Churchill and Greta Nissen.
“Did I ever tell you about the first time I ever had any of my…stuff in that [congressional] daily? Well, I had written some fool thing and it pertained to the bill that they was arguing – or kidding about at the time in congress — in the senate rather. Well, some senator read my little article and anything that a senator reads goes into the record. And as it was during his speech, it naturally went in. So, well, another senator rose and said — you know — as they always do — ‘Does the gentlemen yield?’ They always say that. But they always call each other ‘gentlemen’ in there. But the tone…It would sound right if he would come right out and say, ‘Does a coyote from…Maine yield?”…He says ‘gentlemen’ but it kind of sounds like ‘coyote,’ you know? And then the man says,’I yield!’…For if he don’t, the other guy will keep on talking anyhow. So the coyote from Maine says, ‘I yield to the polecat from Oregon.’ He don’t say ‘polecat’ but he says ‘gentleman’ in such a way that it sounds like ‘polecat.’…I like the way they do that. They are very polite in there. Well, let me get back to my story. When a senator read my offering, the other senator said, after all the yielding was all over, …’I object. I object to the remarks of a professional joke maker being put into the congressional record.’ You know…Taking a dig at me, see? They didn’t want any outside fella contributing. Well, he had me all wrong. Compared to them, I’m an amateur. And the thing about my jokes is – they don’t hurt anybody! You can take ’em or leave ’em. You know what I mean?…You can say that they’re not funny – or they’re terrible – or good – or whatever it is, but they don’t do any harm and they’re just passin’ by. But with congress – every time they make a joke, it becomes a law! You know? Every time they make a law, it’s a joke! So since then, I’ve had my lawyer – I got a lawyer there in Washington to protect my interest – and every time they put any of my stuff into that congressional record, I’m gonna sue ’em! And here’s the grounds I’ll sue them on: for putting my material where it won’t be read!” — Will Rogers
“Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.” — Will Rogers
A raging fire in Santa Monica Canyon threatens to consume the Will Rogers homestead in 1938. The house (pictured) was saved, but the flames came close enough to set stables on fire. Fortunately, the stables were saved, and it took hundreds of firefighters to put out the wildfire and save the historic property. (LAPL)
